WHY IT’S NOT WORKING VERSUS MY DEFINITION OF LOVE.

For quite sometime now I’ve wanted to be wrong about something and i mean that.Look around!Intentionally or not,our generation maybe,just maybe…is hell bent on proving me right on this one fact.

We have no clue what love is.It’s either that or plainly people just don’t care anymore.It’s more of we’re excited of the idea of love rather than love itself.

I’ll not even act like an expert when it comes to love,but i know I’ve experienced love to differentiate what is from what isn’t and probably you too.

Love to me is more of a decision.It’s deciding to love one person despite their flaws and sticking to them even when there’s a variety to choose from.Let’s get real.

There will always be variety but remaining solid with that one person from the beginning and making it work with them even though it sometimes gets rocky,is what real love is about.

People these days just want to break up at the slightest of disagreements forgetting that there’s no such thing as a perfect lover.You’re the one’s to create the perfect relationship from those imperfections.

Social media has instigated most break ups but that doesn’t mean we aren’t to blame as well.We literally take everything as it is without second guessing whether or not it’s true.

You might see the perfect looking couple on social media and think that behind closed doors everything is as rosy but truth be told,They might be on the verge of splitting. And here you are pressuring your partner to emulate them.

There are reasons why many relationships aren’t working;

WHY IT’S NOT WORKING.

• falling in love for the wrong reasons

Nowadays,ask a young person why he or she is with their partner and you’ll be shocked.Oh,she has a “killer”(banging) body,wait,have you seen his Abs?What about the Jeep he owns?All my friends are dating and i thought,why not?

They’re not even wrong for loving these things,the issue comes in when something or someone new pops up.They are ready to hop from one partner to another simply because of the “grass is greener” syndrome.

It’s not until they want to finally settle,that they find themselves stuck with partners they never intended to in the first place.Why?Because priorities have changed and now the things they used to value are not it anymore.

It’s absolutely fine to have a preference or “taste” as we call it,but sometimes we miss on a lot of “opportunities” and people in this context because,majority of the people we can get along with even without trying too much aren’t our types usually,but they are in the most cases the best partners.I know some of you can back me up on this.

• Rushing things

We are a micro-wave generation and therefore we want instant results.I meet you today,we skip the talking stage which i understand can be very boring especially since you’re not sure if it’s going to bear any positive results,netflix and chill then boom!Let’s update our social media status to fiance or better yet the love of my life.

Noticed how we’re loosing young people almost every other day on social media due to love triangles?This is simply because we’re skipping crucial stages when it comes to dating.

If only we took some time to know our partners well,we can sort of spare ourselves permanent damage in future.It’s during courtship that you’ll notice your partner has anger issues,you’ll know what triggers them and vice versa,was he or she married before?

Take things slow and it could actually last a little longer hopefully a lifetime.

• Broken trust

I don’t think there’s anyone that would find joy in just assuming that their partner is cheating unless he or she is simply a psycho.So,for one to even be that insecure you as a partner may have given reasons for him or her to believe so.

In that case,either work on assuring your partner or whatever you two have going on,won’t last.It will be more of a case of,a girl texted you,what does she want?I saw you with a guy,what are you two both up to?

This will be exhausting and chances are,you’re just work partners with those people and there’s nothing going on.Once trust is broken,i know it’s kind of hard to regain it but it can be done.

• Ego

For our generation,honestly I’m not even suprised of people just breaking up because their egos are up there.It’s usually,let’s see who will lower theirs first and then nobody does.What’s left?Unnecessary breakups.

Even if you’re ego is too expensive to lower it,sometimes in love,you have to so as to save your relationship or partnership however you want to call it.

I was actually looking for the new invention which is “gangster points” (Ego according to the kenyan dictionary).People no longer want to apologize so as not to be seen as weak even if it’s at the cost of their relationship .”Hawataki kushukisha the gangster points” which by the way can’t be redeemed as cash.We need to do better!

• Unreasonable Expectations

This usually goes both ways for men and women.Simply as a lady,because I’m now dating,i automatically expect my boyfriend to take up the husband duties while he expects me to take up the wifely duties.

what happens if we both don’t meet each others expectations in terms of our wants/needs?I’ll leave for another prospective and vice versa.All this for what?

This one is easy though because at the very beginning of the relationship both can have a sit down and discuss their limits .

• Ignoring red flags

Are you one of the people who stick around even after spotting too many red flags just to see how reg they can get?Well,i hope not.

Just to get this out of the way though,there are also people that focus way too much on the reg flags that they fail to see the green flags.As you spot the reg flags,try to check on the other side as well.

Back to the main point,incase you have no clue what red flags are.They simply are deal breakers in a relationship.Red flags serve as warning signs of what your partner is or could be.

Some people fail to observe this habits then later on complain that they saw that in their early dating stages but chose to ignore in hopes of the partners changing.I’ll be reall with you.Most people don’t change which is why it’s good to be keen.

The most common question in this day and age is whether true love exists.From my perspective,let’s find out.

DOES TRUE LOVE EXIST?

It does!It still exists only that it’s rare nowadays mostly because we’re no longer contented with what we have,people still want to play the field at the expense of their partner’s feelings,other’s are still caught up with their exes from whatever decades and the list goes on and on.

If you find that special person,no matter how much you don’t want to look like you’re a “simp”(and i feel like this term is being used to make people feel bad for actually caring about a person which shouldn’t be the case),just make sure you do right by them.

Otherwise,you’ll live to claim there’s no such thing as true love while you “lost” yours in a way.

That aside,there’s this quote that changed my thinking of what love really is.

Feelings change with time and that means if today you woke up feeling indifferent about that special person you have,chances are you might start considering a break up especially if someone else ignites the spark you once felt.

However,even if you’re feeling indifferent but still committed to your significant other,you’ll definitely stick around and find ways to reignite the spark.